Loneliness

Sorry for my long absence from the blogosphere. I’ve been travelling on the west coast of Australia where a good internet connection is hard to come by. I’ve still been writing posts, I just haven’t had the opportunity to upload them till now so they’ll be appearing over the coming week.

Don’t feel bad for me when you read this one, because I wrote it two weeks ago and of course everything has changed since then.

Yesterday I left the tomato farm. The time I was there passed so quickly. I wish I had appreciated the stability more, maybe taken a few moments every evening to be thankful for my own bed, the regularity of the working hours and the nice people that surrounded me.

In seven months in Australia the longest I’ve stayed in one place was seven weeks. There were the six weeks on the tomato farm and the rest of my time has been a patchwork of two weeks here, ten days there. Stability has definitely been lacking.

I feel so lonely to be hitting the road again on my own, leaving friends behind. I spent the day in Adelaide today brimming with tears. I watched a video installation in the art gallery for half an hour just to be in the company of other people, focusing on the same thing.

I’m not homesick, but I miss the comfort of being able to stay in one place with loved ones close by. I miss being able to meet friends for tea in Edinburgh at a moment’s notice and then decide to spend the whole weekend together just because we could. I’m sad because I can’t imagine I’ll ever have that again in the future.

When I left Melbourne to go to Tasmania I felt the same way, lonely and lost, and I wrote about it in my notebook. A few days later I was in the Barossa Valley working on a vineyard with a great group of people. When I reread my notes from Tasmania I couldn’t believe that I’d ever felt like that. The loneliness passes so quickly.

Tomorrow I’ll be in Perth and I’ll be meeting friends so I know I’ll be fine.

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7 thoughts on “Loneliness

  1. I know how you feel/felt. I recently spent 10 months in Australia, and it’s my home country but still I felt that lack of stability you describe as we bounced between relatives and destinations. Travel is awesome, but staying put for a little while is maybe under-sold ^^

    • Hey Vividhunter, thanks for you comment. It’s nice to know I’m not alone. I guess it’s all about finding the right balance. Hopefully now I’m in Perth I’ll find a job and settle down for a while and get some of that stability I’ve been craving.

  2. Awe – beautiful post! Fairly natural you should crave a little familiarity and friendship after such a long journey – but what an experience and what amazing memories you’ll have – when you’re stuck in a familiar place for any length of time you’ll be able to travel all over again in your mind!
    I only feel truly lonely in crowded places, which is daft but there you go.

    • Hi Rachel, I know what you mean about being lonely in crowded places. I do still feel lonely when I’m with other people sometimes but then it’s easier to distract myself when there’s lots going on.

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