I Write Like…

Agatha Christie, apparently. I pasted 1000 words of prose into the I Write Like analyzer and that was the result. My blog posts are more in the style of Chuck Palahniuk* and my interviews are like something H. P. Lovecraft would write. Thanks to R. A. Martens for bringing this entertaining procrastination tool to my attention.

*Fab Wikipedia fact: Chuck Palahniuk’s literary agent is Edward Hibbert, the actor who plays Gil Chesterton on Frasier.

Who do you write like? Do you have a favourite Wikipedia fact?

Goals

My life is very unstructured at the moment and I think that is impeding my writing. If I define regular working hours for myself I may be more productive. So no more nonsense from now on. I am going to write every morning from 9-12. There will be no checking of e-mails, messing around on the internet or reading of magazines until lunchtime. The internet especially is a huge distraction for me. My intentions are always good: I just want to check the lunar calendar or read how air raid shelters are constructed or find out what the penalty is for speeding (all research for my novel) and next thing you know, an hour has passed and I’ve checked my e-mails twice and read up about all my favourite celebs on Wikipedia and still not found the information I need for my novel. Well, enough is enough. My new motto is going to be: write first, research later.

And another thing: I’m going to set writing goals for myself. By the end of the weekend I want to have written 50 000 words of my novel and by the end of the year I want a complete first draft. It doesn’t have to be good, it doesn’t have to be coherent, but everything has to be there. Also, I have a folder of partially written short stories and I aim to have redrafted and polished two of them by the end of this year. No more messing around!

The Grass Is Always Greener

Last night I was stalking people – don’t worry, not for real – on a social networking site. You know, when you are looking at a friend’s profile then you click on a link to the profile of a friend of that friend who you vaguely remember meeting once at a party then you click on a link to someone else’s profile because they look fit in their photograph and next thing you know, you are perusing photos of complete strangers and reading comments exchanged by a group of people unknown to you.

Well, I was doing that and feeling very guilty about it because a) I was supposed to be writing my novel and b) you do feel like you have been caught doing something naughty when you click on a link and a message flashes up on the screen saying “You are not authorised to view this page”, when it dawned on me that I have Wasted My Life. Here were these young people (once again, don’t worry, not complete strangers but my mother’s friend’s kids) who were planning the most exciting things for their futures: going to university abroad, taking gap years, learning languages; and there I was reading about their wonderful lives and wishing I could be 18 again. For a few minutes I was very depressed.

Thank goodness I got my novel word count up to the 10 000 mark today otherwise I would have nothing to feel good about.